somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
