I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
