I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
