two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
