I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
