Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
