I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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