I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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