your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
