I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize