i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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