Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
