hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
