Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
