Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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