no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
