Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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