My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
