Who wears a wallet chain?!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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