I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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