She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
