Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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