Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Less talking, more tequila
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
