i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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