No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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