oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
