I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
