My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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