I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
