i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
