next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
vagina is talking i cant
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
