Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
