ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
