I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
