You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
love makes seman taste better
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
