Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm experimenting with sincerity
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
