just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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