oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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