Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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