Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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