I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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