He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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