No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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