the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize