Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
