So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
