Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
