how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
