Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
