Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
