I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
