I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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