I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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