Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
