a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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