Buhtt sex?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
