Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The beer is more important than you right now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
