Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
tell me about the eggs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
