the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
