I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Houston, we have a blender
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
