Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
