Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
