i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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