so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
